How to Help Others Without Going Crazy

Staying at home has its perks.  It allows us to get housework done without rushing to do it around our work schedules.  If we have kids, it lets us spend more time with them.  And we can often help others out when they need it.

Unfortunately, housewives are often taken advantage of.  Friends and family sometimes feel that since they stay at home, they can call on them any time they need something.  So they put them at the top of their list of people to ask when they want something done.

It gives us a good feeling to help others, but there is only so much we can do.  We have to be there for our kids and spouses, and we have lives of our own as well.  When other people forget that, it can cause friction and strain relationships.

It’s easy for housewives to fall into the trap of doing everything that anyone asks them to do.  They may feel that since they are not in the workforce, they don’t have anything to do that can’t wait.  So when someone calls or comes by asking them to do something, they drop everything and go do it.  This is a very unhealthy habit.  In order to get our chores and the things we want to do done, and to keep our sanity, we must learn how to say no.

Ideally, we should be able to tell people that we have a life of our own that we need to attend to and leave it at that.  But sometimes people are persistent, so that doesn’t always work.  A vague “I’ve already made plans” or something similar may be more effective.  They don’t have to know what those plans consist of, whether it’s one of the kids’ dentist appointment or a trip to the spa for some much-needed relaxation.

If a particular person is always asking you to do things, try asking her to do something for you.  Do it sometime when she doesn’t have to work, like on the weekend.  If she takes offense or says she doesn’t have time, you can allude to the fact that it is the same principle as asking you to do things all the time.  If she accepts, you’ve found out that she is willing to reciprocate.

It is much more pleasant doing things for someone when you know that person is willing to help you when you need it.  Maybe she can watch the kids while you do something for yourself every now and then.

Some people take advantage of others by acting like every situation is an emergency.  These types can be difficult to deal with, because they do everything in their power to make you feel obligated to bend to their will.  Having a long talk may help, but it may not.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is check the Caller ID and not answer the phone when they call.

Being a housewife does not give your friends and family license to depend on you for everything.  It is important for them to realize that, but it is even more important for you to realize it.  Your responsibilities are no less important than theirs.