Being a wife and a mom are two of the most important things in many women’s lives.  But too often, women feel that they must cease being themselves in favor of these new roles.  This leaves them feeling unfulfilled, and often even resentful.

The fact is, you were an individual long before you were a wife or a mother.  You have your own interests, and the start of a family should not be the end of them.  Exchanging one for the other is not necessary.

Marriage is a beautiful thing.  It is the coming together of two individuals, each with their own unique characteristics and interests.  But sometimes we get so caught up in our newly affirmed couplehood that we put the things we enjoyed before to the side.

Having children doesn’t make it any easier for us to pursue our interests.  Parenthood is a 24 hour a day job, and it requires us to wear many hats that we may not have worn before.  Sometimes anything that doesn’t have to do with parenting ends up perpetually on the back burner.

While it’s great to do things for your family and take part in the activities that they enjoy, it’s also very important to do your own thing.  You owe it to yourself and to your family.  Women who give up their passions in favor of their families may become resentful, putting a strain on their relationships with their spouses and children.

Women today often choose to be housewives because they want to be there for their families.  The feminist housewife doesn’t stay home because she feels that she has to, but because she feels that it is the best choice.  This doesn’t mean that she must neglect her own interests and dreams, just that she is putting certain things (such as education or career) on hold for a while.

The fact that you’re putting some things on hold doesn’t mean that you have to put your entire life except for your family on hold.  You can, and should, continue to participate in your favorite hobbies, organizations, and activities, and even take up new ones.  Doing things you enjoy will give you a sense of fulfillment, and that will enhance your family life, not detract from it.

There is no need to feel guilty about wanting to be more than just a mother or wife.  Every person needs the opportunity to express herself and participate in the activities that make her happy.  Getting married and having children do not automatically eliminate these needs, nor do they make them any less important.