Crushing the Myth of the Ideal Wife and Mother

By Crissy Herron Gipson

Women throughout history have been held to a different set of standards in U.S. culture and around the globe.  Advertising and other media images seem to have tremendous influence in perpetuating the myth of the perfect wife and mother, but its roots go back much further. 

Many commercials and print advertising layouts feature a chipper, slender, white suburban mother.  She is up before dawn and works into the night.  She is a flawless homemaker, business woman, gourmet chef, and psychologist. The women in these ads seem to be very happy, and so do their families. The message that women receive is that in order to be happy and raise happy families, they need to emulate this ideal.

Even though logic tells us that this is unrealistic, many women still strive to live up to the media images. There is nothing wrong with giving oneself wholeheartedly to home and family, as long as one is realistic in the pursuit.  Motivational experts say striving for unreachable goals leads to burnout and inevitable failure.

Remember that success is not the same as perfection.  Super Mom and the Ideal Wife are myths; these archetypes only exist in our minds and in expensively produced television commercials.  Rather than working toward an elusive ideal, focus on meeting the real and most important needs of home and family.  Some tips:

• People come before things.  The quality of interactions with spouse and children have greater impact than the condition of the house.  Cleanliness is great, but a hug and willing ear mean more to a child than pristine floors and handmade draperies. 

• Time is a limited commodity.  Everyone gets 24 hours per day, and only so much can be accomplished in that time.  Schedule the most important tasks first.  Consider the day a success when those items are completed; anything else is a bonus.

• Know the priorities.  Focus on tasks that support essential goals.  Delegate, contract out, or postpone the rest. 

• ‘Good enough’ is just that.  It doesn’t have to be perfect to be adequate.  The real goals are a good marriage and happy, healthy children.  Life gets messy.  Gauge success by the big picture, not the individual scenes along the way.

Most importantly, remember that giving to others requires sufficient inner resources.  Women who take care of themselves – mind, body and spirit – have greater reserves from which to give to their families.  Let go of the need to be perfect, and that energy will translate into a better quality of life for everyone.

For more real world tips, visit http://www.cleverchicks.com