Teaching Our Sons that Women Do Not Have to be Housewives

Being a stay at home mom benefits our sons in many ways.  It allows us to give them lots of attention and to model the morals and types of behaviors that we want them to possess.  It also allows us to shape the way that they see women.

When our sons see Daddy going out to work every day and Mommy staying at home to take care of them, it is natural for them to think that is the way that every family is.  That’s why it is of great importance to teach our sons that although we chose to be stay at home parents, that doesn’t mean that every woman has to follow the same path.  Impressing this upon them early will help them learn to respect women’s rights and have fair and realistic expectations of them.

Here are some ways that we can let our sons know that being a housewife or stay at home mom is not the only option for women, nor should it be:

• Share your interests and aspirations with your son.  Let him know that while being a mother is very important to you, there is more to you than just that.  Spend quality time with him while doing things you enjoy and find worthwhile.

• Consider taking your son along when you do volunteer work.  Even if you’re not making money from it, letting your son see you do work in a non-domestic capacity will send the message that women can accomplish things that are unrelated to mothering and housework.

• Discuss examples of women who have chosen paths different from your own.  Let him know that those choices are valid, but so was your choice to commit yourself to your family.

• If you know any families with stay at home dads, introduce your son to them.  If possible, allow him to spend some time with them to see how things work in their household.  This will clearly illustrate that different mothers and fathers play different roles in their families.

• Get Dad to help.  Although there is a lot we can do as mothers to shape our sons’ opinions of the roles of women, it’s good for them to learn from their fathers too.  Just as our daughters learn about womanhood from us, boys can gain unique insight into gender expectations from their fathers.  If our husbands acknowledge that we have options to do other things with our lives, our sons will be more likely to adopt that attitude as well.

Sons who are raised by stay at home moms may believe that every family works the same way.  It is our job to teach them that concentrating on family and home is only one of many options for women.  By showing our sons that women can be successful at other things, we can help them grow up knowing that there is no prescribed path that women must follow just because they are women.