Raising Sensitive Sons

Society has come a long way in its attitude toward women.  Once oppressed in innumerable ways and thought of as the weaker sex, we now have control over our lives and are respected for who we are.  While women still face some preconceptions and discrimination, we are more liberated than ever before.

It’s easy to think that men have always had it made just because they are men.  But society’s expectations on males can be limiting, and even damaging, to them as well.  While men haven’t had to fight for their right to vote or to be leaders in business and politics, they have had to deal with many unfair stereotypes.

Throughout history, males have been expected to be the providers for their families.  They have been traditionally portrayed as being less emotional than females, and as having specific interests such as sports and cars.  Around the house, expectations were essentially limited to such “masculine” pursuits as yard work and home repairs.

These kinds of stereotypes tend to be pushed on males while they are young, both by society and their parents.  But an increasing number of moms and dads are coming to the realization that boys should not always have to be tough and masculine.  They are making a conscious effort to raise sons who are in touch with their emotions and feel free to express themselves, even if it means going against what the rest of the world thinks they should be doing as boys.

Sensitivity Doesn’t Make Boys Sissies

While many parents are coming around to this way of thinking, there is still a prevalent attitude that boys should not display any traits that are considered feminine.  Boys who like to dance, play with dolls, and are very affectionate are often seen as “sissies.”  Those who express their feelings openly are often told to tough it out instead of having those feelings acknowledged as valid and natural.

It is up to us as parents of boys to do our part to turn this around.  Boys deserve the opportunity to be themselves just as much as girls do, and by affording them this we can bolster their self-confidence and raise them to be caring and compassionate toward others.  Although these traits are often seen as being inherently feminine, few would argue that they are bad traits for a man to have.

Encouraging sensitivity in our sons may be frowned upon by some, and they may feel so strongly about it that they openly criticize our parenting.  This is not so hard to dismiss in strangers or casual acquaintances, but sometimes it comes from close friends and family members.  Still, it is important that we stand our ground.  If you feel the need to explain, simply state that you are trying to raise a respectful and considerate young man, and in order to do so you must respect his feelings and allow him to be himself without being criticized for it.  Even if you do not turn your critic into a believer, you will have given him something to think about.

While there are certain biological differences between boys and girls, both sexes experience the same emotions.  The difference is that boys are discouraged from showing their emotions, and from exhibiting behaviors that society sees as girlish.  By giving our sons the freedom to be themselves, we can help them grow up to become compassionate and well-adjusted men.