Bringing Up Daughters Who Don’t Feel Obligated to Be Housewives

Being a housewife today is a choice, not an obligation.  Women fought long and hard to get to the point where we have the option to pursue careers without being ostracized, yet taking care of the house and kids full-time is a valid option as well.  After all, there is no more important job in the world than being a parent.

Being stay at home moms allows us to raise our children the way we see fit instead of having to cart them to daycare every day and let someone else do most of the work.  We get to be there for them when they need us and watch them grow.  We get to instill the values that we want them to have and be role models to them.

When our daughters come to us and say, “Mommy, I want to be just like you when I grow up,” we may have mixed feelings.  On one hand, there is no greater complement, especially when it comes from your child.  On the other, we may feel a tinge of guilt, because we don’t want our daughters to think that women are only supposed to be stay at home moms or housewives.

It is important to let our daughters know that we are staying at home by choice, not because society expects us to or we feel that we must.  Here are some things you can do to ensure that your daughter knows that she can be anything she wants to be when she grows up.

• Introduce your daughter to women who are in various professions.  If possible, have them tell her a little bit about what they do and why they chose to do it.  Encourage her to ask questions, both of the women and of you.

• Talk to your daughter about the things you want to accomplish in life.  If you have plans of going back to school or reentering the workforce at some point, share them with her.  Let her know that being a mother doesn’t prevent you from getting what you want out of life.

• Listen to your daughter with enthusiasm when she talks about things she would like to do when she grows up.  Avoid criticizing her ambitions, even if they sound far-fetched to you.  Taking her seriously will build her self-confidence and give her the strength she needs to make her dreams a reality.

• Discuss the portrayal of women in movies, television shows, books, and the media.  Talk about the career choices of these women and how other characters or members of society react to them.

The fact that we choose to stay home with the kids shouldn’t send the message to our daughters that women have no other choices.  By openly discussing the options that women have, as well as those that we have considered or plan to pursue, we can ensure that our daughters do not feel limited in what they can do with their lives.

For more information on gender issues, check out these resources.